Are you like Bob Marley, wondering if what you are feeling is love?
Is this love?
What is true love? Have you found the one? the one and only? Who is your soulmate? Is there more than one?
Love has taken different shapes and forms throughout history, and is far from being a universal concept.
We now look for love as if we were looking for the newest Iphone. Then of course comes a time when the newest Iphone is not new anymore, not as shiny, so we need to get the very newest. We are caught up in a circle we are not even aware we are not in control of.
It saddens me when I hear confessions about modern dating and experiences of rejection, when I hear about beautiful hearted people being treated like articles on shelves of a supermarket.
There is a lot of confusion about the way we ‘should’ love someone else, or be loved by someone else, about what a love relationship should look and feel like.
Far from our heart, our intuition, we search for answers outside of ourselves, and base our thinking on modern society’s standards.
Have you ‘fallen’ in love with someone who is from a different culture and doesn’t share the same values? It is wonderful, however, you will surely agree that it requires some work!
Being a true international can broaden the mind when it comes to tolerance and compassion. But it can also bring its load of challenges when cultural differences come in the way of the love that unites two hearts.
A bi-cultural relationship requires work, it is not obvious to meet each other on a level that is not attached to any form of religious, societal or cultural influence, but is a product of a mutual agreement on how to evolve in the world as two separate individuals deciding to grow together.
Yet it is totally achievable with a good dose of love and compassion. No relationship is a given, and no relationship does not involve challenges.
As the Yijing (or I-Ching or Book of Change) states, love is about mutual attraction (that is what hexagramme 31 is describing) but also about making this mutual attraction last and evolve and about being perseverant through the setbacks (hexagramme 32).
Buddhism teaches that Love is practice. For more on the subject you can read my previous post, Happy Love Day.
Are you searching for more love in your life? Whether it be from your partner or in general.
Are you often complaining you are not receiving enough love?
What if you shifted your focus to giving instead of receiving?
Try it with your partner if you want to see transformation happen in the way he/she relates to you. If you are alone and looking for love, try it with anyone around, just try and practice this new way of being.
Giving and receiving go together. Like two sides of a coin. When we look at the yin and yang symbol, its meaning, we understand that opposites are always complementary, and one element transforms into its opposite. Take Day and Night. The day eventually transforms into night and vice versa. It is the same with giving and receiving. Giving transforms itself into receiving. If you would love to receive more love, try to give more love.
Don’t try to control and check what you are receiving during the day. Instead shift your focus, as hard as it may seem, you will find that it isn’t! It is just a practice, almost like a game. Try it. Give your love freely, a nice gesture, a smile, a compliment, anything big or small, without expectation, just for the sake of it. You will gradually or even instantly notice how your your day changes, your world changes. It is something to practice consistently and regularly. Remember we are all human beings with our own suffering and challenges and a lot of us simply don’t know how to give. When you open up, other people are inspired to be the same around you.
When you start giving something you want to receive, there is a greater chance of you receiving what you sowed.
However, do not confuse giving with burning yourself out, by all means, give to yourself first. Give yourself time, rest, comforting thoughts. What I mean here by giving is giving love, but not giving endless efforts and precious energy away to meet unrealistic demands and serve unlegitimate requests (read here about exhaustion and self-care, Self-Care is not just about Bubble baths and Massages).
Turn your focus on giving and the receiving will take care of itself.
Would love to hear your experience on the subject.
Wishing you a lovely day,